Saturday, September 11, 2010

Narcissists-Don't Expect Formal Justice or Punishment

Narcissists know how to manipulate their way out of trouble---even if there are serious ethical violations or  illegal activities involved. Some narcissists finally tumble and we watch them finally get their due and pay the consequences. This doesn't happen often. If you are waiting for your ex-narcissistic husband or wife to be brought down due to his cruel, manipulative and devastating behaviors toward his family, don't hold your breath. We can not put our faith even in the courts to obtain justice. Narcissists find clever ways around legal issues. If they have large sums of money at their disposal, there are situations in which they manipulate the outcome of legal proceedings. I know of cases in which a narcissistic spouse ended up wresting custody control from the other partner.

Each narcissists has his or her own unique style of treachery. Some narcissistic spouses go off to another cycle of life with a new partner, disregard their children and act as if the past never occurred. Other dig in their heels, prolong the narcissistic divorce wars, pull every kind of ruse and manipulation at their disposal and even refuse to formerly resolve the divorce. This is achieved through stalling and manipulative tactics. The goal here is revenge. In many cases the just result is not achieved. The narcissist, especially if he or she has the monetary means and a group of clever and unscrupulous attorneys, can outplay and win over a just outcome. I have seen this happen too often to be dismissive of narcissistic treachery.

We deal with the cold manipulations of the narcissist with our personal resolve, moral strength and psychological perseverance and a deep knowledge of the complex psychopathology of the narcissistic personality disorder. We bolster our ourselves with the consistent solid support of trusted friends and family members. And we never give up , give in, show fear, react with fear and intimidation or compromise our moral and ethical standards. The narcissist with all of his harmful maneuvers cannot take over our lives. We have made a firm decision that we are entitled to live with integrity and peace as committed seekers of truth. We continue to evolve and grow emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. No one can interfere with our resolve and the manifestation of this level of integrity that we demonstrate with our lives every day. Those who take this stand will never be compromised. This pathway is clear, straight and true. With each step,  strength, resolve and vitality grow. The plots of delusional narcissists quiver beneath the forces of unwavering truth, fearlessness and unshakable integrity. Visit my website:

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: and amazon kindle edition

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