Thursday, September 9, 2010

Covert Narcissists-Hiding in the Weeds

When we visualize a narcissist we imagine him or her at center stage, all eyes riveted. High level narcissists, those who are highly successful in the world, come with great fanfare. They announce their presence. Everything about them is impeccable: their clothing, physical attractiveness, smooth social skills and personal magnetism. These narcissists are natural salesmen and extroverts. They obsessively talk about themselves, their auspicious achievements, superiority, etc ad nauseam. At times they focus on someone whom they know they can control and manipulate for their purposes. Then the narcissist focuses his attention specifically on the chosen person who will fulfill some goal or wish for the narcissist. 

We have another style of narcissist---the covert narcissist. He appears as a humble, low key individual,  ready to serve, caring individual. The covert narcissist firmly believes he has a sterling character and convinces others of this dreadful lie. In the beginning you feel like the covert narcissist will do anything for you. Some of them put themselves in the role of servant to you. Despite their purported servant status covert narcissists eventually display their sharp teeth. If they believe that you are competing with them for money, status or some one's affections, they will take you on: spread lies about you, think nothing of ruining your reputation, disburse all of your confidential information and employ any number of tactics to vanquish you.
The covert narcissist, after perpetrating all of this psychological damage, returns to his/her above reproach, even holy image until the next time he is driven to win at all costs. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website:

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the Book: and amazon kindle edition

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