There are outright lies told convincingly to your face. Spouses of narcissists discover sometimes after decades that their husband has been lying to them about all manner of things: finances, affairs, illegitimate children, stealing assets, etc. during your entire marriage. For the narcissist, lying is like breathing. Lies come out of their mouths automatically. They are convenient. It makes the narcissist feel in complete control. Narcissists don't develop a conscience so it is not pricked when they speak falsely. Then, there are their lies of omission. They haven't told you about investments they have made with your joint assets. Some narcissists are secret gamblers. They win and lose. They disappear and make excuses that the spouse believes. They are known for their many affairs. They can hardly step out the door without flirting with some attractive woman with the purpose of seducing her as quickly as possible. Narcissists have so many excuses that they get away with their lies, especially if they are married to a woman who adores them and is willing to put up with them.
If you lead your life with the truth, don't marry a narcissist. If you are a person of integrity and seek the truth and are married to a narcissist, you have a decision to make. You can stay in the relationship and overlook your spouse's horribly flawed character or you can make move forward to sever the bond and get a divorce. This process can be arduous but it can be done. There are many women (and men) who have decided they will no longer share their lives with a deceitful person they cannot trust. There is no true bond here, no emotional intimacy, no trust. And ---You can't change a narcissist. They believe they are perfect, find lying to be natural and necessary and essential to worldly success. If you are a person of integrity, you will find it very difficult to remain in a relationship filled with betrayals and perfidies. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life