Friday, September 3, 2010

Seeing Through the Narcissist's Seduction

Narcissists, especially those who are high level and very successful in the world, are exquisitely gifted at the art of seduction. The narcissist puts his/her romantic sights on the individual of his choosing to become the perfect partner. In the wooing stage there is nothing the narcissist won't do for the intended. He gives the impression of being able to read your mind: your deepest wishes and longings. There is a place inside of each person that is emotionally vulnerable. Those who are unaware of their psychological weakness and personal proclivities are fair game for a narcissist on the hunt. The opening rounds of the narcissist's choreography reads like a modern fairy tale. He anticipates all of your needs and is prepared to have them come true right before your eyes. Many find themselves loosing control, becoming giddy and overwhelmed by the narcissist's attentions--his/her overly generous gift giving and special attention. It is at this point that the party pursued by the narcissist can still make an early, safe exit from the tightening noose of this pathological relationship. After this phase comes psychological possession. The narcissist is fusing with you. He/she views you as his possession. At first being possessed by someone who adores you and will give you anything you want and beyond is the answer to every wish you have ever had. This is the bait and the open trap that is awaiting you. As the narcissist's secures the possession phase you have less and less control over your life, your thoughts, your behaviors, your feelings, your decisions. Individuals who have lived independently before meeting a stealthy narcissist, confess that they were seduced. They could not resist.

Learn to recognize the signs of the narcissist's clever moves. If it's too good to be true, believe it. If the promises and attentions are over the top, take heed. Listen to yourself and especially your intuition. Study the narcissist in all of his/her in detail and depth so that when one of these individuals walks into your life, you will recognize him very quickly. It is possible to have a keen sense, like a scent of narcissism that you pick up in a person. This kind of knowing together with your research will protect you from the infamous narcissistic seduction. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality, visit my website:

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
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