We are always in the process of evolving. We feel the internal gashes, blows and deep bruises of childhood cruelty and maternal deprivation, especially if we are children of a narcissistic mother. This is one of the greatest challenges in life. There are those who have that moment of awakening and recognize that there mother is a narcissistic personality. Something deep inside them stirs and says they must free themselves of this deep wound. They are determined to break from the psychological and emotional shackles of the parent who never was.
This insight about your narcissistic mother puts you on the
path to healing yourself. Your are a unique human being---an invaluable
one. Although you may share the DNA of your mother and father and your
ancestors, you are not them. You will never be on the face of the earth
again--Your special imprint will never appear again past, present,
future. You have time left to fulfill the evolution of your original
self--the person you were meant to be.
Healing often begins with
grieving the mother you did not have. You feel like crying. You are
infuriated by all of the years of brainwashing, cruelties, put-downs,
constant verbal abuse that has made you wonder if you are too blame. YOU
ARE NOT TO BLAME. Always remember this. You didn't ask to be the child
of this mother. An aspect of your healing very many is to sever the
"relationship" with this non mother. Other members of the family may
object or wonder what you are doing. WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS, NOT THE
OTHER PARENT,NOT OTHER SIBLINGS, NOT IN-LAWS --MATTERS. THIS IS YOUR
DECISION TO HEAL.
Individuals heal in different ways. Let yourself
cry, Give yourself the solitude and time that it takes to move through
this process. Some individuals benefit from excellent psychotherapy.
Make sure that you interview a couple of therapists and make sure that
are not narcissists or people who have a strong money motive.
are a number of healing modalities including gentle hatha yoga with
emphasis on the breath, sitting and walking meditation, the company and
contact with a couple of friends who care deeply about you and are
available at any time. Spontaneous writing done consistently without
editing gives your a portal to your feelings and access to your
creativity. If you draw and paint, do this--Start a healing art book.
Remember, no judgements. Look at yourself. Give yourself love and credit
for your psychological survival under horrendous childhood
circumstances. I have a deep commitment to those who are children of
narcissistic mothers. I am amazed by their compassion and kindness. I am
honored by their presence in the world.
Keep evolving--there are no limits---keep loving--Keep giving solace to others as you have all of your life.
You will find peace and your gifts will expand and deepen. We are so fortunate to share a place with you in the world.