I hear life stories of individuals who have suffered not only from their psychological problems and emotional pain but in addition have been harmed by narcissistic therapists of all kinds---psychologists, psychiatrists, psychoanalysts, etc. There are dedicated, brilliant, empathic professionals who help their clients and patients to heal. These individuals go the extra mile always to be present both in the office and on call for their patients. They help to change the lives of their patients so that they can move forward to become their true selves and to live freely with full use of their many gifts.
I have had
the experience of "working" with several highly trained narcissistic
therapists whom I have personally seen. They did very little good and in
some instances--harm. They took my money without a hint of doubt and
kept me going to them as long as I met their need for narcissistic
supply. The longer I attended therapy sessions, the more money they
made to satisfy their greed motive. Fortunately, I learned to recognize
non-therapists and extricate myself from them. I want you to be able to
do the same and to find therapists who are doing the real work of
helping you heal.
Narcissistic therapists are in very large supply
these days, just as they are in our population. The current society
rewards narcissists handsomely for many of the traits that make them
harmful to others: extreme self entitlement, ruthlessness, lack of
conscience and ethics, complete lack of empathy, winning at all costs at
the psychological peril of those closest to them, lack of genuine
emotional and psychological intimacy, deceitfulness, chronic incessant
I am not talking about becoming successful as negative. It
is wonderful that people do well, use their gifts, move up in the world,
become educated, are creative at their work and are paid well.
therapists control patients who come to them often in a state of
emergency and desperation. They feel emotionally dependent. They are in
crisis. They have tried many ways to heal themselves before they knock
on the door of the narcissistic therapist. They are at the mercy of this
person with the credentials, the education and the clinical experience
that speaks of their qualifications to treat them. It doesn't matter how
great the credentials and training is if the individual you are seeing
is a narcissistic personality disorder. By definition this person is
incapable of genuine empathy which is essential to the healing process
Narcissistic therapists have a money motive.
Often their fees get higher and higher as the patient becomes more
desperate. Narcissistic greed is running their show.
Pay attention to the signs of a narcissistic psychotherapist:
1. Inability to listen carefully and take in what you are saying and how you are feeling.
A lack of empathy--the incapacity to experience what you are feeling
from your perspective. Some narcissistic therapists blame the patient
for his problems. Narcissistic therapists are bored with their patients.
You notice boredom particularly in the nonverbal behaviors of the
therapist (lack of eye contact, sleepiness, restlessness, inability to
be still and listen).
3. Inordinate focus on fees and insisting on very large fees that are out of line with the professional services offered.
4. Psychotherapists who project their unconscious venom on to their patients.
Psychotherapists who foster unnecessary dependence on patients to make
them come to additional sessions that will bring them more money.
Psychotherapists who talk about their private lives. You are paying
them to talk about themselves. That is completely unprofessional and a
red flag that this person is a narcissist.
I hear from individuals
who are in the process of healing from narcissists in their lives. They
are doing the hard work each day of becoming the person and leading the
lives that they deserve. You are entitled to find and work with a
psychotherapist who is worthy of you. Remember you are in charge. You
decide after doing your research and interviewing who will work best
with you. And remember as well, that you do not have to stay with any
therapist. You can always terminate. You hired this person to help you
heal and you deserve the very best.