When you live with or are married to a narcissist you are in psychological danger. Once you have recognized who this person really is--a pernicious, totally selfish, often vicious and vengeful human being--make your exit. Previous spouses and partners of narcissists are often drawn back into the narcissist's lair with promises of having everything they want. A narcissist knows how to "apologize" and make up. This post refers to male and female narcissists.) He offers you the most tempting rewards. He says that he has changed and learned from his mistakes. This is his run of lies that sound so appealing---He took you for granted. He cheated on you and now says he was a bad person. He adeptly puts on his humble act. That's what this is --Acting-- Method acting in its highest form. He wants you back as one of his narcissistic supplies. You are an integral part of his image (which is his reality). You may have other assets that he covets--social and business connections, high professional standing. He knows that he can fool you again. Don't fall for the "changed man" "I saw the Light" routine.
Narcissists are fixed personality disorders that do not
change. They are etched in early childhood. Many of these men are golden
boys who learned by the age of five that they were perfect and superior
and that they could use and abuse anyone to get to their goal.
You hear the familiar words, the music begins--Don't grant the narcissist another dance!!!
Create your own production. Get the professional help you may need.
Surround yourself with a small cohesive support system. Pay attention to
your intuition. Take good care of your body, mind and spirit.
You will recover and prevail.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life