By definition sabotage is a "treacherous action." Treachery when perpetrated upon a family member means destruction and annihilation. It is beyond ruthlessness.
Growing up in a narcissistic family is
like being in the middle of a deadly fire fight twenty four hours a day.
The child who survives these skirmishes and all out wars is truly
remarkable. I hear and read life stories of those who found survival
techniques. Many of them hid in their own hoes, spent time with friends
to keep out of the war zone, slipped their minds away into books, video
games, drawing, writing, other creative activities.
children who have this experience are in a constant state of
anxiety--fight or flight syndrome.The narcissist--mother or father or
both rule the household. Screams and demands--slaps and threats can be
heard and experienced frequently in these homes. The narcissist lives
for himself (herself) alone. Narcissists don't love their children. They
use them to prop up their egos if they perceive that a particular child
can add to their perfect image. In this case the child is indulged. The
rest of the kids are cast aside and neglected or treated abysmally.
Some of these children find ingenious ways to save their sacred flame,
to camouflage their creative gifts but continue to use them and to keep
the inner fire of a sense of self burning brightly. I have known
individuals who have been able to accomplish this despite all of the
narcissistic pathology of their mother or father or both parents.
children heal through a combination of pathways that they discover work
best for them as individuals. There is no one way, given the trauma
ridden childhoods that they sustain. Psychotherapy with highly empathic
trained psychotherapists is one aspect of this healing for some. Bring
the body/mind into balance is essential to this process. This takes many
forms including the practice of gentle yoga, meditation, support
groups, the re-awakening of your creativity, finding relationships of
trust and respect, learning to put yourself first and to practice self
love and self care. Learning how to received the affection that others
have for you is all part of this healing phase. Healing is a lifetime
process, an evolution of the self that takes as many forms as there are