Sunday, October 31, 2010

Narcissists-Repackage and Conquer

I have watched the social and professional reincarnations of a variety of narcissists---up close and from afar. Narcissists never stop reaching for their next grandiose goal which always involves their winning and others losing. When I speak of losing, victims of the narcissist are not only financially fleeced but often are robbed of their psychological equilibrium, emotional stability and peace of mind. 

Narcissists constantly reinvent themselves. When they have run the table on all of the financial resources, often OPM (other people's money) they make the proper excuses, exit adroitly, lie low for a while and without consequences, doubts, remorse or conscience, conjure up a new scheme. Everyone is a potential victim of the narcissist. He or she is highly skilled at pulling people into to his next "project."

I have known "gifted" narcissists who have gotten people to work for them without pay just so they could be in the hallowed presence of a master manipulator. There are acolytes who will put up with all kinds of abuse, especially if the narcissist has solid gold business connections. Devotees of narcissists, including spouses and very close associates are mesmerized that this one individual can get whatever he/she wants.  Narcissists at the top of their game don't need to snap their fingers. They have faithful servants who are so attuned to them they can read the narcissist's mind, know his desires, his mood, what he fancies, how he will orchestrate his next power move, who is in favor, who is out of favor, who will rise, who will fall. 

Narcissists have a gift for timing, in business and with people whom they control. They know just when to pull out of a deal and collect the maximum amount of gold before anyone else has had a flicker of a thought about this action. They pretend that they are staying in the game and convincingly lie to everyone that they are a sincere and honest partner. Many months, even years before they have been plotting their exit strategy.
Narcissists have bragged to me about their four year plan, knowing the exact way they will maneuver themselves to the top and then sell out when no one has a hint of suspicion that they have been left holding the bag. Narcissists employ these cycles of deceit throughout their lives. People including their spouses and children are simply objects who have been conveniently placed in their presence for maximum use. When the spouse is exhausted, spent, defeated and wiped out, the narcissist moves on to another carefully selected specimen who will fill the role vacated by the last victim.

Narcissists make "new friends" and court fresh business connections so they can set up their next venture without any remnants of the past. Narcissists live in the future and the present. What they have done that has harmed anyone, including their own flesh and blood is meaningless to them. Narcissists are "so clever" that they have the same peole whom they have cheated come back for more. These inhumane qualities are the language of their identity. This is a difficult concept for non-narcissists to grasp. How can someone exploit other human beings, ruin their lives, and drive them into the ground without hesitation. Because there are vital parts of their psyches that are so defective that allow them to live without conscience, empathy and compassion.

The narcissist has his own standards and values. He knows that he will always win. He will find a way, invent a dark plan so that once again he is on top. He has repackaged, reconstituted himself and conquered once more.

To successfully learn how to specifically recognize and deal with the narcissist's treacherous enticements, invisible traps and seductions, read extensively about the specifics of the narcissistic personality disorder. Visit my website:

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: and amazon kindle edition

No comments:

Post a Comment